Beloved Ch. 9

In chapter 9 of Beloved, Sethe went to the Clearing because she wanted to feel a connection to Baby Suggs because she wanted to feel inspired by the serman that Baby Suggs used do in the clearings.  Sethe ends up remembering what Baby Suggs' fingers feel like while she was imagining them.  Sethe feels relaxed at first while Baby Suggs is giving her a imaginative massage, but after a while Sethe is massaged too ruffly that it feels like she's being choked.  "Just the fingers... they were there... somebody choked me" (Beloved, 112-113).  Sethe wanted to remember Baby Suggs' fingers massaging her, but eventually the massage became painful causing her to feel like she's being choked.  It is because of this that Sethe snaps out of her day dream of the past.  It was important for Sethe to feel uncomfortable in her daydream about the past because now she will not want to remember feelings from the past because they cause pain for her.  One cannot live in the past because they will miss things that are happening now because they are too preoccupied by things that have already occurred.  One must remember major events from the past but cannot dwell on the events that are filled with sorrow.  Sethe should remember the good times she had with Baby Suggs but not dwell upon every little detail about her or the memories Sethe had with her.  The past is usually embraced when there is a memory that represents a happy or exciting time and is forgotten when there is a horrific or painful memory that took place.  Sometimes these memories become intertwined, and one does not know which memories are happy and which are sad until they are remembered again.  "Yet it was to the Clearing that Sthe determined to go" (Beloved, 105).  Sethe first wanted to go to the Clearing because she wanted to remember the happy times she had with Halle and Baby Suggs.  These happy memories were intertwined with the painful memories of her slave past causing her to remember Baby Suggs' hands choking her.  She is combining the happy memories of Baby Suggs' hands with the horrific memories of being a slave and being abused.  The combination of memories makes it difficult for one to remember the past without having many different emotions filling their minds.